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Joke of the Day

"I went to a zoo the other day... All the exhibits were completely empty, except for one dog; it was a shihtzu"

"5yo slooowly walks by: ""Hi, mom and dad."" 4yo slooowly walks by: ""Hi, mom and dad."" CODE RED CODE RED"

"Two plates go into a resteraunt One plate says to the other, "" Don't worry I'll pay for the meal."" The other plate replies, "" No dinner is on me."""

"when the news anchor says ""if you know anything about the crime please contact police"" dont call the police and re-tell the news story"

"Apparently The Hulk's blind date went well. I asked him about it today and he just said ""Hulk Smash."""

"I went Christmas shopping at Best Buy..."

"What is the difference between God and Donald Trump? Donald Trump can make God great again. However, God has no such power!"

"A condom is like a plunger You never know when you will need it but it's great to have just in case."

"I scream, You scream, We all scream because grandma is visiting for Christmas and she forgot her hearing aids again."

"Girls are like condoms They spend more time in the wallet than on your dick."