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Joke of the Day

"Next OSX version announced!!! It will be called ""El Chapo"""

"Take a day off. Pamper yourself. Visit a spa. Pour melted wax on ur body. Rip the hair out by the roots. Inject poison into ur face. Relax."

"A blonde, brunette, and redhead are in the ninth grade; which one is the sexiest? The blonde, because she is the only one that's 18."

"A baseball player was hit in the head with a line drive yesterday... today he's more open-minded"

"What was a tramp stamp in the 19th century? A slattern pattern"

"*rubs a lamp* Genie appears and asks for a wish ""I don't wanna die virgin"" *Genie grants immortality"

"An asshole What do you call a person who reads the punchline before the joke?"

"They said Brexit would let us get closer to non-EU countries. They were right, we now have more in common with Zimbabwe than ever before."

"i just went to a bar god damn, it was one sharp crowbar."

"How can you find Will Smith in the snow? Look for Fresh Prints"