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Joke of the Day

"The worst thing about Muhammad Ali sending a ""Tweet"" to Mayweather . . . Ali couldn't type it and Mayweather couldn't read it."

"Retweet this and you'll go to heaven. Yes, the standards are now that low."

"Honey, what is the name of that German that hides things around the house? Alzheimer grandma, Alzheimer!"

"Why did an emo become an accountant? There's no cuts like tax cuts."

"What did the left butt cheek tell the right one..? If we stick together, we can stop this sh*t."

"How do you make 5 lbs of fat look good? Stick a nipple on it."

"What is the proper expression of gratitude when someone calls you a good listener? ""Huh?"""

"I escaped the terrorists of Iraq, wanna know how I did it? I ran."

"What's easier to load into a garbage truck? Bowling balls or babies? Babies, because you can use a pitchfork."

"What did the sick waiter say when his manager asked him if he could come into work? I can't wait."