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Joke of the Day
"How do you make 5 lbs of fat look good? Stick a nipple on it."
Next Joke
"Guy: Can I buy you a drink? Girl: Sorry, but alcohol is bad for my legs. Guy: Do they swell? Girl: No. They spread"
"My nephew: ""Sometimes it gets puffy and I can't pee"" Me: ""Yeah, unfortunately when you get older it gets puffy and you can't think"""
"Whenever somebody calls me ugly, I get super sad and want to hug them. I know life is tough for the visually impaired."
"Can you tease, please and never squeeze Argentina? Yes, but you Gotze try a little tenderness."
"Why did the Country Bear Jamboree bear blush? Because he was a bear a-singing. ..... I am at Disney with the kids this week..."
"I've just bought a transparent megaphone. Now everyone can hear me loud and clear."
"Ferguson jokes... Are always a riot."
"Math joke: Why can't you derivate a social scientist? Because they don't have a function"
"My wife turns over and accidentally kicks me in the nuts. I gasp. She gasps. Then she raises her arms and yells, ""I WIN! I WIN!"""