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Joke of the Day

"It was one of those things where I think they believe they were telling a joke but they were totally expressing their actual opinions"

"Cogito Ergo Spud. I think, therefore I yam."

"It's okay Pluto I am not a planet either."

"People always get disgusted when I say I slept with my teacher... I think it's because I was home schooled."

"How many French words has the Turkish language recently adopted? Beaucoup."

"How do comedians send messages? By tee-hee mail."

"I like my feminists like I like my sand. In sacks keeping the flood water away from my house."

"Someday I wish to experience the moment of joy that seems to only exist in Old Navy commercials."

"Before Twitter, I used to be stupid in the privacy of my own mind."

"How do blonde braincells die? Alone. "