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Joke of the Day

"Who likes a good baseball joke? How can you tell if a catcher has the shits? The pitcher got some on his balls. ;p"

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"What body regulates the welfare of Santa's workers? The Elf and Saftey Executive."
"Me: I hit the ejector seat and sent her through the roof by accident Cop: you're under arrest. I'm taking you to jail Me: let's take my car"
"I was relieved when the cop gave me a ticket for driving without headlights. I thought I was going blind."
"Has 2 wings but doesn't fly, Has 2 eyes but doesn't see, has 2 legs doesn't walk, what is it ? A Dead bird"
"My phone battery dies faster than a black guy in a horror movie."
"Why is there an eject button on the DVD remote? You still have to get up & take the disc out. It's like having a remote to open the fridge."
"How do you get someone to pay child support? Blackmail."
"Hey girl, are you a tube of Pringles? Because my whole fist is stuck inside of you"
"Two Guys Peeing off a bridge- One guy looks over at the other- ""Man, This water is Cold! ""Yeah...It's deep, Too-"