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Joke of the Day

"Me: I hit the ejector seat and sent her through the roof by accident Cop: you're under arrest. I'm taking you to jail Me: let's take my car"

"What does a mathematician do when they have constipation....? They work it out with a pencil!"

"Sexual equality in the workplace I'm all for sexual equality. That's why I allow my female staff to work longer so they can earn the same as the men."

"What's the difference between a customer and a weatherman? One knows he's not always right."

"Whats the difference between Marmalade and Jam? You cant marmalade your cock up a womans arse..."

"Pulled out all of my eyelashes so I can make more wishes. 1st wish: MONEY! 2nd wish: FRIENDS! 3rd wish: eyelashes :("

"Why did the sailor ground his son? His grades were below sea level ^^im ^^so ^^sorry"

"Just donated blood. I hope whoever gets it likes wine."

"Made this up when I was about 8 or 9 Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because his car was stuck in the cornfield!"

"Melania Trump and this sub are the same Both like to copy stuff and say them again"