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Joke of the Day

"How do you get someone to pay child support? Blackmail."

"This isn't working out. I think we should start making other people miserable."

"A pirate walks into a bar... The bartender says, ""are you aware that there is a wheel in your pants?"" The pirate replies, ""AAARGGHH it's driving me nuts!"""

"I killed someone with kindness today. Blood EVERYWHERE."

"I have a photographer's memory Or is it photographic? I always forget."

"What did Jay Z call his girlfriend when they were dating? A Feyonce"

"What is the difference between Will Smith and Scotland ? Independence Day"

"What is a pirate's favorite letter? R, but his first love was the C."

"Our Unabashed Dictionary defines wet dream... As the winner of a damp-t-shirt contest."

"Honey I'm home from Costco. ""You didn't buy anything stupid this time?"" [looks outside at kayak strapped to roof rack] Define stupid?"