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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes I think we're all going to be okay. Other times I read Yahoo Answers."

"At work I noticed the computer department have started putting Christmas decorations up IT's beginning to look a lot like Christmas."

"""Please punch in your account number, phone number and the last four digits of your social security, so I can transfer you so they can ask you for those same numbers again!"""

"I burnt my Hawaiian pizza today Should have cooked it on aloha teperature"

"My ex husbands Voicemail was a trick one where he'd say ""Hello Hello, so you think he'd answered and that's why he's dead."

"DOG COP: sir, you ran a gray light DOG DRIVER: it was gray! COP: no, it was gray! DRIVER: gray! COP: *starts barking* DRIVER: *barking*"

"I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here."

"What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business? 1. No mind. 2. No business."

"What's the difference between toilet paper and toast? Toast is brown on both sides."

"Woman: Why are you begging for a quarter? Beggar: I didn't think someone like you would give me a dollar."