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Joke of the Day

"DOG COP: sir, you ran a gray light DOG DRIVER: it was gray! COP: no, it was gray! DRIVER: gray! COP: *starts barking* DRIVER: *barking*"

"My wife asked me to stop singing Wonderwall... I said maybe"

"The NFL was considering issuing small bats to referees to ""knock"" the balls to check for proper inflation during the Super Bowl... but then they realized that was queer."

"At which fast food restaurant is a hamburger happiest? Arthur Treacher's Fish and Chips!"

"What's your best elephant joke sequence?"

"Shopping for insect repellent spray is so sexy.... I always get Off."

"Would you like to hear a joke about ghosts? That's the spirit!"

"There are two fish in a tank... ...and one says to the other, ""how do we drive this thing?"""

"[about to message girl he likes] Me: I should just talk to her like I would anyone else. Be myself. And not act stupid. Brain: OR"

"When you get angry at someone count out loud to ten. When you get to eight, throw a punch. Nobody expects that sh!t."