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Joke of the Day

"""Please punch in your account number, phone number and the last four digits of your social security, so I can transfer you so they can ask you for those same numbers again!"""

"When you're alone in your room, start doing karate so ghosts know what's up."

"How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. The question is how they got in there."

"I opened Twitter at a red light once, and when I looked up, a week had passed and I was sitting in police impound."

"What do you call a Muslim Flying an airplane A pilot"

"Cauliflower is just broccoli ghosts."

"Did you hear about the man who spent his whole life trying to perfect cloning technology? When it finally happened, he was beside himself."

"A Little Jewish Humor Q: How much does a moil get paid? A: Fifty dollars and a tip."

"chuck norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky."

"Did you hear about the pornstar who had a heart attack whilst filming? He had it coming."