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Joke of the Day

"New Reality Show: America's Next Top Proctologist. You only advance to the next round if you get two thumbs up."

"If your woman is always reminding you of how other many guys want her and you are lucky she is still with you, dump that ho. Let those wolves have her."

"[One to tell militant women]: how many women on their period does it take to screw in a lightbulb? [Meekly] ^just ^one..."

"What do you call a whore with a runny nose? Full."

"It's called ""courting"" a girl because you're supposed to take them to a basketball court and dunk on them repeatedly I hope"

"Just ate the last slice of pizza and I wish there was more. Suddenly all of Taylor Swifts songs make sense to me."

"- Grandpa, you still have sex with grandma? - Yes, but oral, only. - What do you mean, only oral? - I say ""Fuck you!"" and she says - ""Fuck you, too!"""

"Did I ever tell you about how I lost my job at Tropicana? I couldn't concentrate."

"How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? to get to the other side."

"A prostate exam... Is worrying when the doctor shouts ""look no hands!"""