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Joke of the Day

"I bet the best massage in the world is getting attacked by a toothless shark."

"The first thing I thought when I saw that House Republicans wanted more Congressional Bengazzara hearings... ""This seems a bit much, wasn't *that* bad as Jackie Treehorn"""

"When people show me pictures of their kids, I show them pictures of my exes If I have to look at their mistakes, they have to look at mine."

"Why do Mexicans always have red eyes after sex? Pepperspray..."

"What do you call three rabbits hopping backwards? A receding hare line."

"Girl are you Monday because I am not looking forward to seeing you again"

"Gender is like a dead Jew. Before we know it, there'll be six million of them."

"How many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side!"

"CW: if you repeatedly see a cardinal, it's the spirit of a loved one. I think that's my mom Me: that's nice. Your mom just shit on that guy"

"How many porn stars does it take to turn change a fuse? It's too hard to tell. They keep blowing it."