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Joke of the Day

"How many porn stars does it take to turn change a fuse? It's too hard to tell. They keep blowing it."

"scarlet joe hanson sounds like an old timey boxer's name. ""weighin' in at 182 lbs, 5'9"", the ol' black widow, scarlet jooooooe hansen!"""

"DATE: This place is so fancy ME: Ever have a guy splurge on you before? DATE: Well, only when we didn't have a condom"

"What makes Stevie wonder? What everything looks like."

"Why couldn't cinderella play soccer? She always ran away from the ball"

"When everyone around you is an ahole you've gotta stop, take a long look at you & accept how awesome you are dead center in ahole land."

"Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?"

"Why don't you want to eat pussy in the morning? Have you ever tried to spread a grilled cheese?"

"What's so unfunny that it's funny? An anti-joke."

"Whoever said, ""there's no place like home for the holidays"" clearly hasn't been to my house."