199760

Joke of the Day

"The first thing I thought when I saw that House Republicans wanted more Congressional Bengazzara hearings... ""This seems a bit much, wasn't *that* bad as Jackie Treehorn"""

"Trump's foreign policy answers sound like a book report from a teenager who hasn't read the book. ""Oh, the grapes! They had so much wrath!"""

"This cashier just held my five dollar bill up to the light in case you're wondering how I do with first impressions."

"Q: Why doesn't the dinosaur cross the road anymore? A: Because their eggs stink. (They're extinct)"

"What kind of pastry do you need a thesaurus to eat? Synonym rolls"

"What do you call a vampire, that follows the rules? Draculaw"

"What is the poo from a fish with no dad called? bassturd"

"It's too bad the meaning of life is 141 characters."

"What do you call a police officer standing on dog poop? On duty"

"The swimsuit portion of the presidential election is going to suck."