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Joke of the Day
"Boss: You're fired Me: No YOU'RE fired Boss: No Me: Yeah Boss: *starts sweating*"
Next Joke
"Never raise your hand to your children - it leaves your midsection unprotected."
"Did you hear about the serial killer who was coming out of retirement? He's taking another stab at it."
"ME: I lied in my interview. BOSS: what was the lie? ME: all lies. except about my aunt. BOSS: she wants to party with me? ME: big time."
"Yo Mama so fat, when she takes a shower her feet don't get wet!"
"I cooked for my fiancee's parents for the first time As I handed out the rarely cooked steak Harry (her father) said, ""I like it well done."" I said, ""Thanks, that means a lot."""
"What is trust? Two cannibals giving each other a blowjob."
"I never proof read anything myself Instead, I just sandwich my writings with hateful opinions, post them to Reddit, and read the replies. People seem more than eager to point out my mistakes."
"BOSS: Okay, let's do this. What names are you pitching? COWORKER: Hannah Montana ME: Assapoopshits Massachusetts BOSS: Michael you're fired"
"Why couldn't anyone hear Hellen Keller scream? She was wearing mittens."