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Joke of the Day

"I never proof read anything myself Instead, I just sandwich my writings with hateful opinions, post them to Reddit, and read the replies. People seem more than eager to point out my mistakes."

Next Joke
 
"They're a pack of lions He's some guy who hates lions Together, they're: PRIDE AND PREJUDICE This fall on CBS"
"Next time your sit at a McDonald's playland and a parent asks you, ""Which one is yours?"" Say, ""I haven't picked one out yet!"" It's worth it."
"Hey, are you a broadleaved deciduous hardwood tree? BIRCH I MIGHT BE"
"Why were the elephants kicked out of the pool? Because they kept dropping their trunks...."
"My GF left me because she said I lied about stupid things. I was so upset I ate a car park :("
"What do you call a see through father who was born with female genitalia? Transparent."
"That'll do, fellas. I think we're good on breathy singer-songwriters who sound like they're creepily whispering rapey stuff in our ears."
"I love using those really powerful bathroom hand dryers, because I get to see what it would look like if my hands went skydiving."
"7 dwarfs were in the bath feeling happy. So ......happy got out"