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Joke of the Day

"""Keep away from children to avoid suffocation"" was the best advice I've ever received. You have to pay for that nowadays"

"I just sneezed so violently, I think it qualifies as an ab workout. (Screw you, I'm counting it.)"

"Thinking about becoming an unemployed mom so I can make up to $64/hr online."

"Q: What did the blonde think of the new computer? A: She didn't like it because she couldn't get channel 9."

"Has anyone woken up Green Day yet?"

"I Like My Bed Like I Like My Women Tight, neat, and wrinkle free"

"I have a good joke about a nice balloon. Oh wait. It just got away from me."

"I was going to make a joke about that bus... I was going to make a joke about that bus that rolled over and killed the driver and 9 passengers... But there's no pun in ten dead."

"Cunt Jokes Q. What do you call it when a woman trolls you? Ans: Cunt-troll (control)"

"Why did the nurse always insist on using the rectal thermometer to obtain temperatures? Because nurses are taught in nursing school to always look for her patient's best side."