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Joke of the Day

"I'm a grammar nazi. I'm also a regular nazi, but that's a different story."

"Why did the duck get a red card? For fowl play."

"There's no way Oscar Pistorius can walk away from this... He doesn't have a leg to stand on."

"How can you recognize a Gnome Pig? They're the ones with the little red hats."

"How did Darth Vader know what Luke was getting for Christmas? Q: How did Darth Vader know what Luke was getting for Christmas? A: He could feel his presence!"

"If you see someone over the age of 9 wearing sweatpants, pull them aside & say ""Friend, you're wearing sweatpants."" They might not know."

"Why did the former fitter turned baker enter the lottery? To win dough."

"I found a carrier bag with an England football shirt that someone had just thrown away, I couldn't believe it... Carrier bags are worth 5p these days!"

"How to you piss off a writer? The list off ways is to long too fit hear."

"What do you call a guy that overeats for the sole purpose of getting stomachaches? A glutton for punishment."