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Joke of the Day

"I was going to make a joke about that bus... I was going to make a joke about that bus that rolled over and killed the driver and 9 passengers... But there's no pun in ten dead."

"What do you call someone infected with herpes... Who refuses to date someone else infected with herpes... A Herpocrit! A very awesome friend said he came up with this just randomly, do I believe him?"

"The best part of waking up, is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep."

"Kids so mixed... They won't show up in black and white pictures."

"What kind of jokes does a priest tell? Dad jokes"

"[Therapist's office] Husband: She takes everything, literally T: What do you mean? *Me walking out the door w/ the floor lamp I'm stealing*"

"A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does."

"Little miss Muffet sat on her tuffet eating her curds and whey... ...along came a spider that sat down beside her and said, ""what's in the bowl, bitch?"""

"I just think there are a lot more animals out there we could be eating."

"Have you seen the new interview of John Cena? Yeah me neither.........."