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Joke of the Day
"I Like My Bed Like I Like My Women Tight, neat, and wrinkle free"
Next Joke
"That awkward moment when you run into your old pizza guy and you're with your new much younger pizza guy."
"So my son ate the baby Jesus out of our Nativity scene. Now we wait for the religious movement."
"I wish restaurant food looked like the pictures on the menu. A hostess asked me how everything was. I said, ""My compliments to the photographer."""
"A girl walks to his boyfriend and says.... I have some good news and some bad news, and I'm gonna tell you both at the same time. Amongst all your friends, you have the biggest dick."
"What did one plumber say to the other plumber? Pipe down."
"Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off."
"Weird how TV characters hardly watch any TV."
"I can only handle so much of a screaming kid on a long car ride before I pull over, take them off the roof, and let them back in."
"If a fat person has a fully functioning penis... If a fat person has a fully functioning penis, does that make them a sperm whale?"