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Joke of the Day

"I'm a humble person, really. I'm actually much greater than I think I am."

"I wouldn't say I'm superstitious, just a little stitious."

"How many groping victims does it take to stop Trump from being president? We're about to find out.."

"What fruits do vampires eat? Blood oranges."

"I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house."

"Why did Tiger Woods stop winning golf tournaments? Because he stopped cheating"

"Got in a fight with the wife so I didn't let her sleep on the couch with me last night."

"Theres a couple guys at a drinking party.. And they all start an in depth discussion on inkblot drawings"

"There are 2 cats. One is called ""One Two Three"" and the other is called ""Un Deux Trois"", which is the best at swimming? ""One Two Three"" obviously. Because ""Un Deux Trois"" cat sank"

"Ever since Facebook allowed images in their comments sections people only ever communicate via pictures. We're 21st-century cavemen."