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Joke of the Day

"I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house."

"Damn girl, are you my accounting class? Because you really need more curves."

"Why did the Cell Tower Cafe get bad reviews? Because the service was horrible."

"Planned to go to Thailand for my vaca this year but after hearing about the ladyboys I thought Phuket"

"Sometimes, just to annoy my Therapist, I'll ask him; ""so how does my lack of progress make you feel?"""

"NASA claims that they've just discovered blood sucking bugs on the moon. They're a bunch of lunatics."

"What did the burger say to the other burger? ""Aw man, it's my big moment, I'm getting served to someone! I hope I don't *ham* it up!"" The other burger looks at him. ""Holy shit, a talking burger."""

"A lion wouldn't cheat on his wife... but a Tiger Wood"

"I bet if I could see into the future, I would use that power to watch a lot more TV."

"TIL Pigeons die when they have sex At least the one I fucked did"