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Joke of the Day
"I like my women like I like my ice cream, Rich, creamy, and in my freezer."
Next Joke
"From my gf Me: What are you planning on doing on MLK day? Her: I plan on sleeping all day Me: ...Why? Her: I want to have dreams too"
"Dear Stephanie on Facebook, I do not care that you are watching The Breakfast Club. I only want to know what channel it's on."
"It's not gay if it's for a Klondike Bar."
"How do you call a person that speaks only one language? An American"
"How do you play the Oscar Pistorius drinking game? Every time your girlfriend goes to the bathroom, take two shots"
"What do you call a kitten crying on the grass in the back yard? A lawn mewer. (I wrote this yesterday)."
"You don't need a parachute to skydive... You need a parachute to skydive twice."
"Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it's probably sh!t."
"69 I asked my grandma if she had ever tried 69. She said, ""No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night."""