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Joke of the Day

"How many groping victims does it take to stop Trump from being president? We're about to find out.."

"[first day as a midwife] ME: Keep pushing! I can see the head! NURSE: You're at the wrong end."

"Not only was my brother not mad when I backed into his Porsche, he even invited me camping and said to bring a shovel. Whew!"

"Why did the guitar teacher go to jail? He fingered a minor"

"""I'd like a nice stiff entendre please."" - Want me to make it a double? ""I'll just take it as it comes."""

"Is thinking about doing something! Now just got to think what that something will be!!!"

"TEXTATIONSHIP: a person that texts you all the time but never makes an effort to see you."

"Why was the turkey (bird) named after the country? Because fuck you that's why"

"I just joined alcoholics anonymous I still drink, just use a different name"

"2016 strikes again. The inventor of the inappropriate innuendo has died. His family are taking it really hard."