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Joke of the Day
"I feel like I forgot something today... ...shit, *the oven!*"
Next Joke
"What does Bill Clinton say to Hillary after sex? I'll be home in 20 minutes"
"What's the difference between Michael Brown and Darren Wilson? Only one of them knows how to dodge a bullet."
"I just read that a veteran policeman has been suspended from his job... after being caught masturbating and smoking weed in his office. No name was given but he was a high wanking officer."
"Only 90s kids will remember this (picture of burning buildings in Sarajevo) Wait wait no (picture ofmass graves in Bosnia) Wait no. Hold on"
"What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear ? Winnie the Pooh !"
"What's good on pizza, but not on pussy? crust."
"WHAT DO YOU THINK???? If a man opens the car door for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife"
"Me: Please wait to eat your Craisins until we're in the car *5 secs later Me: What're you eating? 5yo: *Mouthful of Craisins* ......Nothing"
"83 yo man, ""You speak pretty good English for a Chinese girl"". Me: ""I'm caucasian"". Him, ""Well, any kind of Asian looks Chinese to me""."