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Joke of the Day

"83 yo man, ""You speak pretty good English for a Chinese girl"". Me: ""I'm caucasian"". Him, ""Well, any kind of Asian looks Chinese to me""."

"Why didn't Jarred order the meatball sub? Because he didn't like the size of the meatballs."

"My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it So we went and had drinks. Cool guy, wants to be a web designer."

"A woman always gets the last word in an argument, because anything a man says after that is the first words in a new argument."

"""Hey Juan, let me tell you a funny joke yeah?"" ""Joke!"""

"Hey girl, are you a Marxist revolutionary? Cos I'd like you to seize control of my means of production."

"What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea??? I wouldn't pay $200 to have a lentil on my face."

"Forgot to buy a gift for a friends Wedding. Luckily someone died at an intersection nearby so I scored a cool wooden cross and a teddy bear"

"I don't know if you really meant to Like Ebola on Facebook, 8,000 people"

"[Scene: Cloud City. Two men fight each other with lightsabers] Mario: You-a kill my father! Wario: No. I am-a your father. Mario: Mama-mia!"