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Joke of the Day
"I bought my friend an elephant for their room. They said ""thanks!"" I said ""don't mention it."""
Next Joke
"What's the best way to get bubble gum out of your hair? Cancer"
"What do you call a cow that will go down in history? Legendairy [From my young daughter]"
"I love spending my Sundays sat watching the F1. My girlfriend thinks I'm going fucking mental though, just sitting there staring at the top left of my keyboard for severalhours at a time."
"What do a priest and a Christmas tree have in common? Both have balls that are just for decoration"
"genders are like... genders are like the twin towers... there use to be 2 of them and now its just offensive to talk about it"
"I was writing a book about Abortion Sadly it never delivered."
"Carl: Cold out night. Me: Tell me something I don't know. Carl: NASA found LSD improved spiders' ability to make webs. Me: Fair enough."
"How did the pirate fix the hole in his pants? He used an eyepatch"
"What do you call a chinese woman with a food processor on her head? Brenda."