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Joke of the Day

"Idea: Breathalyzer tests at the airport, to make sure you're drunk enough"

"I got a sweater for Christmas. I really wanted a screamer or a moaner."

"Praying Mantis wife: Are u cheating on me? Praying Mantis husband [his missing head replaced by a marble]: What on earth gave u that idea?"

"The world's shortest joke. Pakistani government."

"*Approaches girl at bar* Brain: Say you like her eyes. No, hair. Actually, go for eyes! Me: You have lovely hairy eyes Brain: My bad."

"Can't believe how divided we've become over an election. It's not like it's the color of a dress or something."

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - FrankenBarbie ...comes with bolts through her neck"

"What happened to be, she, and they... ...when they were discovered face-down in the mud? They were PRONOUNS dead"

"It turns out ""Flasher"" wasn't one of the reindeer and I'm being asked to leave this holiday party."

"Men, of course we need you. Because, jars."