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Joke of the Day

"What is it called when a large piece of foliage is the same on both sides? Symmetree."

"My family is very poor. If I don't wakeup with a boner on Christmas morning I won't have anything to play with."

"Brangelina is no more. And it's really sad to see that Brad Pitt is now just 'Br' while Angelina Jolie gets her whole forename back."

"""Once we come down off this wall we'll be on the lam. That means we're fugitives, laying low, on the run..."" - condescending con descending"

"Why are Jewish men circumcised? Because Jewish women won't touch anything that isn't at least 10% off"

"Hey all Hot Girls. I'm starting to think that all your phone numbers don't start with a 555-"

"Manslaughter: The sound a man makes when laughing."

"I time-travel quite frequently, ... I'd go to bed around midnight, and in few seconds I'd wake up to, lo and behold, 9 AM."

"When I die I want my body to be donated to science Specifically, a scientist who is working on bringing dead guys back to life."

"What do you call it when an Asian composer really needs the bathroom? Rover Flows Out Of You."