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Joke of the Day

"I time-travel quite frequently, ... I'd go to bed around midnight, and in few seconds I'd wake up to, lo and behold, 9 AM."

"We were on Family Feud once.... Yea, we fought the entire time."

"Why was the little black kid with diarrhea crying? Because he thought he was melting."

"The England team visited an orphanage in Brazil today. ""It's heartbreaking to see their sad little faces with no hope"" said Jose, age 6."

"My wife's an experienced navigator, she gives great headings."

"If I died and went directly to hell it would take me a month to realize I wasn't at work."

"How can a male get a maid for free? He gets married."

"I got fired from my job as a chef for stealing kitchen equipment. ... .... It's a whisk I was willing to take."

"Welcome to Facebook. Please choose your category: Comedian, Philosopher, Protester, or Drama Queen."

"You know you're in the r/science subreddit when [removed]"