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Joke of the Day

"When I die I want my body to be donated to science Specifically, a scientist who is working on bringing dead guys back to life."

"Cop: What happened? Me: A Smart Car hit one of those little Fiats. Cop: Can you describe the accident. Me: Adorable?"

"Today I threw a penny down the well and made a wish. That the police would never find Penny's body."

"I rode a horse today. In other words, I had sex with Sara Jessica Parker"

"The most amazing thing about the internet is how it allows you, with the click of a few buttons, to do absolutely nothing with your life."

"I just accidentally put my mic too close to my guitar amp and I think I made a Skrillex song."

"Son : Dad.... This movie is so scary... Is that woman going to die?? Dad : Judging by the size of that horse's dick, Yes she is"

"There's been four dudes wandering around our local cemetery all morning. I think they've lost the plot."

"I tried killing a spider with kindness, but found that a shoe was much more effective"

"Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. His summer was ok."