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Joke of the Day

"Why are Jewish men circumcised? Because Jewish women won't touch anything that isn't at least 10% off"

"1: Steal ice cream van 2: Drive around slowly but never stop 3: Be proud to have helped prepare children for life's many disappointments"

"If you want to cry use a tissue, not your Facebook status."

"I don't have a problem sharing my funny stuff with ya'll here as you c0py & paste to your Facebook, it's the damn Twitter crew I can't stand with their self righteousness and egos."

"A lion would never (Old joke) A Lion would never cheat on its wife but a Tiger wood."

"There's a pigeon walking up the driveway. I don't care what he wants. I'm not answering the door."

"I decided to watch The Conjuring alone in a dark apartment and now I'm not allowed to make my own decisions anymore."

"I walk around with mentos in my ears so everyone thinks I have an iphone 7."

"What is your best wordplay joke? My personal favourite: Two peanuts walked into a bar, one was assaulted."

"I teach curse words and racial slurs to children whose parents allow them to run around restaurants."