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Joke of the Day

"The director of ""A Girl in the River"" went to high school with me in Karachi! She won an Oscar! This is not gonna help w my parents. #Oscars"

"Every time you make a typo... the errorists win"

"You say, ""I think we should see other people"" like I haven't been doing so ever since we started dating."

"KID: Why's the sky blue DAD: It's sad MOM: Light refraction DAD: ... MOM: ... DAD: (*mumbling*) light refraction"

"Insanity [insanity] (noun): Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results See Also: Going back to your ex"

"9 just scolded me at the grocery for buying wine. I told him it was ok, I was 21 to which he loudly responded, Nooo, you're 38. Thanks son."

"in 2nd grade we had to draw what we wanted to be when we grew up and i just drew myself with sunglasses on"

"NEW study shows that Birthdays are good for your health Statistics show that people who have more birthdays, live the longest!"

"From all the butts, ours is the most important."

"All pills are sleeping pills if you take enough of them."