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Joke of the Day

"Whenever someone with a bumper sticker cuts me off I automatically dislike the cause they support. Right now I'm not too fond of Literacy"

"[in car with wife] ""did you take $20 from my purse?"" *sips $3 coffee* no *gets rear ended and $17 worth of sour candy falls out of glovebox*"

"What does Bill Clinton tell Hillary after sex? I'll be home in 45 min."

"I have a friend. He keeps trying to convince me he's a compulsive liar, but I don't believe him."

"After spending 45 minutes eavesdropping on a crazy girl giving advice to another crazy girl, I really don't know how we're not extinct yet."

"How many therapists does it take to change a light bulb? One, but the light bulb must want to change."

"i before e except after c Great, now how am I supposed to spell ""ice"" again?"

"I finally decided on my Halloween costume. I'm going to go as a French pancake chef; that'll really give people the crepes."

"What's a rock group with four guys that don't sing? Mount Rushmore"

"[OC] Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9!"