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Joke of the Day

"Whenever someone with a bumper sticker cuts me off I automatically dislike the cause they support. Right now I'm not too fond of Literacy"

"Customer: Waiter there's a button in my salad. Waiter: It must have come off while the salad was dressing."

"If you woke up naked in the woods with a condom up your ass would you tell anyone? No?.. Wanna go camping?"

"What's the same between Brussel sprouts and anal sex? If you enjoy it as as an adult you hated it as a kid"

"Boss: You're fired Me: No YOU'RE fired Boss: No Me: Yeah Boss: *starts sweating*"

"Wife: There's a spider in the kids' bedroom Me: I'll take care of it *raises spider like one of my own* *has a little cry when it graduates*"

"What do they call the 13th floor in England? The 12th floor."

"A little boy says, Dad, I've heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her. ' Son,' says the dad. That happens everywhere.'"

"What's the difference between a radical feminist and a suicide bomber? One's being triggered and one's pulling the trigger."

"Math is sad. It takes hours to try to prove your point, but only one counterexample to destroy everything. Much like my marriage."