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Joke of the Day

"How many therapists does it take to change a light bulb? One, but the light bulb must want to change."

"Me: Sorry, my son spilled the water Waiter: No problem, I'll get you a new one Me: [grabbing his arm] Make sure this one likes sports"

"Our daughter ran away from home once when she was a teenager. We were frantic. Within months, we called the police to report her missing."

"Revere rides a horse saying ""The British are Coming""and it's heroic but I hop a pogo stick naked screaming ""look at me""and it's probation?"

"Has anyone checked whether cows really have 4 stomachs? Because it kinda sounds like a lie a cow made up once to get more food"

"So apparently a gorilla got shot at the zoo for grabbing a kid that had wandered into its enclosure.. And social media went apeshit."

"What do you call two roosters having a fight? A Cock-a-Doodle-Duel!"

"Where do Peek-a-boo patients go? The ICU."

"I guess I didn't lobby hard enough to make extroduce the word of the year."

"A Conductor ... What do you call a part time conductor ?? . . . a *semiconductor*"