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Joke of the Day

"what do you get? What do you get if you mix up an agnostic, a dyslexic and an insomniac? A guy who stays up all night wondering if there is a dog."

"What do you call an elephant and a rhino mixed? Asked my buddy ""What would you call an elephant and a rhino mixed?"". He looks at me and says ""Shit man, Helliphino""."

"A poem for r/Jokes ""Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am a dog."""

"Got a summons for jury duty. At least now I know it will be a hung jury."

"STILL PRINTING Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing."

"I don't know what to I can't see an end. I have no control and I don't think there's any escape I don't even have a home anymore. Definitely time for a new keyboard."

"My hobbies include working out, staying fit, eating healthy, and lying."

"The worst kind of insomnia is snoring induced insomnia. That's when every time you start snoring your wife shoves you awake..."

"What do you call an artist who has no money baroque..... (I'll just see myself out)"

"[wife walking in the door after work] WIFE: I had just had the worst... why are our kids in the dog cage? ME: a hello would be nice."