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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between a Muslim and Dutch? As a Muslim you get stoned for being gay, but both are legal for a Dutch."

"What travels down an alley and has holes in it? A bowling ball. Or Bruce Wayne's parents."

"First Olympic sailing result just in. GB have taken gold, Australia have taken silver and Somalia have taken the boat"

"I had a few too many beers at an art exhibition and threw up all over the floor. Someone offered me three grand for it."

"Did you know Canada was originally going to be called ""CND""? When they were asked to spell it, they spelled it: C-eh. N-eh. D-eh."

"If you get a divorce in Arkansas... ... is she still your sister?"

"A small part of me is filled with self-loathing for how much pizza I can eat in one sitting. The rest of me is filled with pizza."

"""Say hello to my knitted friend!"" -Scarfface"

"Past, Present and Future walk into a bar... It was tense."

"The GOP candidates are competing to win over Scott Walker supporters after he pulled out of the race... But all three of them remain undecided still."