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Joke of the Day

"What travels down an alley and has holes in it? A bowling ball. Or Bruce Wayne's parents."

"What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite."

"You guy want to hear a joke about a cat? Nah. I'm just kitten."

"Potty humor... Have you ever taken a shit that smelled so bad, you had to re-evaluate your lifestyle? I either need to become a vegetarian, or do a colon cleanse with holy water."

"I got done for shoplifting today. I paid for six cans of Sprite at the self checkout, but when security checked my bag he discovered I'd picked 7 up."

"[after first date] Him: I had a great time, I'd love to see you again Her: Yes, we should do this again sometime but with other people"

"Islamic Settlers of Catan Everytime you get a sheep you also get wood"

"Why should you never date a French Horn player? Because every time you kiss, they'll try to shove their fist up your ass."

"So I accidentally called my teacher 'mommy' yesterday... Now she knows exactly what kind of porn I'm into."

"She: ""I am expecting..."" Me: ""Whoa! Congrats."" She: ""...someone at 3."""