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Joke of the Day

"First Olympic sailing result just in. GB have taken gold, Australia have taken silver and Somalia have taken the boat"

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"Why did the snail drink beer? To come out of its shell!"
"What's a pilots least favorite holiday? May Day!"
"My girlfriend dumped me for talking too much about video games what a ridiculous thing to fallout 4"
"What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? The bench can support a family of 4."
"I was sexually assaulted by tony the tiger today. I'm pushing charges for rrrrrrape."
"Goals for my kids before I had them: teach them Spanish, only use positive reinforcement, never yell. After: get them to put on pants."
"Scientists have discovered secret of infinite electric pover... ... - a generator without 'Turn off' button."
"What was wrong with the boy's brand new toy electric train set he received for Christmas? Forty feet of track - all straight!"
"How do you have a sexy barbecue? You grill the sausage."