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Joke of the Day

"Did you know Canada was originally going to be called ""CND""? When they were asked to spell it, they spelled it: C-eh. N-eh. D-eh."

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"A couple who are silly together stay together."
"Tell me your local jokes! Why does the Clyde run through Glasgow? Because if it walked, it'd get jumped!"
"Asia and his father are playing a board game. Asia's father takes his turn. He looks at Asia and says, ""Europe, Asia."""
"*sees lawn gnome cartwheel into room* *calls to renew prescription*"
"If a centipede a pint, how much can a precipice? A canopy."
"A woman says to her husband... A woman says to her husband, ""I'm sick and tired of you pushing me around, and talking behind my back."" The husband says, ""but honey you're in a wheelchair."""
"""Try it, it's so good!"" ""Come on, man. Just a taste."" ""I'm having some. Mmmm."" ""Trust me."" Feeding my 2yo makes me feel like a drug dealer."
"The two most popular gifts women receive on Valentine's Day are a box of things that make her fat and a bouquet of things she can watch die."
"Did you hear about the two thieves who stole a calendar? They each got six months"
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