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Joke of the Day

"Who are the fastest readers in the world? 9/11 victims. They went through 110 stories in 10 seconds."

"If I'm ever in a coma, don't try to wake me. I'm doing what I love."

"What do most women hate to hear while having sex? Honey, I'm home!"

"Which famous pop duo were the best at delivering cereal? Haulin' Oates"

"What do you get if you type www.abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz.com into your computer? A sore finger."

"Why do farts smell? So deaf people can enjoy them too"

"I don't care what they say, the first guy who milked a cow and drank it was a massive pervert."

"We should start calling policemen Diamonds. [x-post /r/Showerthoughts] Diamonds Clubbing Spades."

"M: Are you gonna eat that baby? Lady: What!!?! Go away you Sick-O' M: Sorry! I saw you putting it on Instagram & figured.. Never mind."

"I went to a nice Cuban restaurant last night, I say restaurant but it was more of a Castro pub."