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Joke of the Day

"You would think that with the sun being 109 times the diameter of Earth... ...that it would be hard to lose it at night right? So I sat outside for the whole night, and then it dawned on me."

"The white girls were nestled all snug in their beds, while visions of Ugg boots danced in their heads."

"What do you say when you are comforting a grammar Nazi? there, their, they're."

"I want to die drunk and peacefully like my grandfather Not like his 6 other screaming passengers"

"Being raised as a catholic was tough. As soon as I hit 12 I had acne come on my face, as did the priest."

"They call Japan the ""Land of the Rising Sun"". Is that why they look like they're squinting all the time?"

"What's a mobster porn actress called? Sunny Corleone!"

"Why are programmers so consumeristic? Because they're object oriented."

"What is Adam's brother called? Subtractem"

"Husband: [sends text] We need to break up. Wife: [sends text] WTF! Husband: [sends text] Sorry. That was meant to go to someone else."