227890

Joke of the Day

"hey girl, are you into adopting animals? Because I will probably pee in your bed and run away"

"Whats the best thing about being a siamese twin? Someone to kiss while you're wanking"

"i've grown my mustache down over my mouth and all the other ventriloquists here are wondering why they never thought of that before"

"Q: What do you call a frog with seven legs? A: A seven-legged frog."

"i wonder how many time-travelers accidemtaly went back in time instead of forward but then saw a knight & thought ""wow look at this robot!!"""

"I'm on chapter two of the dictionary and this thing is just so disconnected. Like, what happened to the aardvark from the beginning?"

"Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over Me: Idk, but could you move this along? I've had too much to drink and I really need to pee."

"If anyone has a really good fish pun... Let minnow"

"What did the bully say when he threw Michael J. Fox out of a 10 story window? Marty Mc. FLyyyyyyyyy!"

"Hey, baby, I wish you were my definite integral so you'd be the thing underneath me."