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Joke of the Day

"i've grown my mustache down over my mouth and all the other ventriloquists here are wondering why they never thought of that before"

"The worst part about looking for a job is if you're successful, you end up with a job."

"Unfortunately, showing that much cleavage doesn't fix your face."

"My FedEx guy knocks on the door like his son is dying and I'm the town doctor."

"I heard women in this country only get 78 for every dollar a man earns... On the bright side, we get to keep 22"

"I've never known a complete Jew I have only known some who are Jew*ish*"

"So I asked my roommate why life was so hard... (NSFW Language) He responded, ""How else would it fuck you?"""

"What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dead hooker? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage"

"Knock knock. Whose there? 9/11 9/11 who? You said you'd never forget!"

"Never have phone sex You'll catch hearing-aids"