227818

Joke of the Day

"Somewhere, a smart Lasik surgeon has an office full of brochures that are all slightly out of focus and a recovery room where they have clear print."

"Did you hear about the new pop singer that has giant nipples? Her name is Areola Grande."

"Why did Simba's dad die in a stampede? Because he didn't Moofassa enough! Edit: general consensus was to add ""enough"""

"I'm so sick and tired of my friends who can't handle their alcohol. The other night they dropped me 3 times while carrying me to the car."

"Are you russian? No, I'm not in a hurry."

"What do you call a factory that only makes good products? A satisfactory"

"What do you use to search for anime in Google? Weabooleans"

"What did one lesbian bullfrog say to the other lesbian bullfrog? They're right! We do taste like chicken!"

"4-year-old: Can you do what you want at work? Me: No, I have to listen to my boss. 4: Mom is at your work?"

"How do you play a big game of Hungry Hippos? Go to a weight watchers meeting and roll Maltesers down the middle of their meeting circle."