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Joke of the Day

"The fun part about being white is that I can sing an ""Ebony and Ivory"" duet with my shadow when I'm lonely."

"What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter"

"Dude tried to go medieval on my ass, so I went renaissance on his and confused him with my drawings of a flying machine"

"What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? If we don't get some support, people will think we're nuts!"

"What happensto nitrogen when the sun rises? It becomes daytrogen ^I'msorry"

"[unleashes dog at dog park] me: don't embarrass me now dog: i won't *sees pretty girl* me: hi, i'm dog: he drinks wine through a straw"

"The chef at my local Chinese restaurant had a nasty fall at work, and was so badly injured he had to give up his job. He'll never wok again."

"0 Two muffins baking in the oven. One says ""Bloody hell! It's hot in here."" The other spins around..... ""AAAHHHHHH!!! A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!! GET ME OUT!!!!"""

"Son: Is it true? Dad I heard that in ancient China a man doesn't know his wife until he marries. Father: That happens everywhere son everywhere!"

"Step 1) Get a job selling punctuation marks. Step 2) ?????? Step 3) Profit."