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Joke of the Day

"Phil Spector's brother I met Phil Spector's brother Crispin the other day. He's head of quality control at Walkers."

"I wrote a poem about the NFL It has 32 offensive lines."

"I hate pedophiles they're fucking immature assholes!"

"I'm a party animal... because when I go to parties I end up pissing on the floor"

"I'm really looking to re-capture my lost youth... ...my basement door doesn't lock properly"

"Got CPR and CCR confused. Ended up playing ""Fortunate Son"" on my boombox while watching a man die."

"What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in a lake? Bob"

"Why didn't George RR Martin (GOT author) use Twitter? Because he killed all the 140 characters."

"What's The Difference Between Snowmen, & Snow Women? Snowballs."

"Literally no one wants to be on the phone with you less than the lady who answers the phone at a Chinese restaurant."