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Joke of the Day
"After sex, I take the condom off and make a balloon animal for the lady."
Next Joke
"What do you call a Skydiving criminal Condescending"
"Learning someone led a double life would hard to process because yes, they betrayed you, but wow, think about those organizational skills"
"What's the bare minimum? One bear."
"[At Doctor] Me:I'm having chest pain Doc:Did you buy a new bra? Me:Yes! Thanks for noticing! Doc:I meant it could be causing the pain Me:Oh"
"Whats similar between a hurricane and women? They come in hot and wet and leave with **THE LAWN CHAIRS WE BOUGHT TOGETHER SARA YOU BITCH!**"
"Did you hear about the guy who got chilled to absolute zero? Hes 0K now."
"The most useful lesson I learned from my cat is if somebody puts clothing on you, just freeze and flop over on your side."
"Judge: You're sentenced to death. You'll be hung. Wife from the back: HE'S ALREADY HUNG. Me: Your Honor uncuff me so I can high five my wife"
"The 21st century: When deleting history is more important than making it."