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Joke of the Day

"Dear Dreamworks, How to Train Your Dragon was not the instructional movie I was hoping for since acquiring a Komodo dragon"

"I just lost my left arm and left leg in an accident. I'm all right now."

"Could you please tell your mother to stop wearing so many different lip sticks? It's making my dick start to look like a rainbow."

"Q: What did the skunk use to contact his girlfriend? A: His smellular phone!"

"Why are asprins white? Because they work."

"Why is Santa so Jolly? Because he knows where all the Naughty Girls live."

"How many mosquitoes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2...and don't ask me how they got in there. (My 87 year old grandma just told me this one)"

"What was the last thing that the homeless man heard before becoming a giant? Go big or go home"

"Why are Ethiopian's teeth so white? Because they never use them"

"So the Macarena turns out to be about a girl double-teaming her boyfriend's friends. Now we know the lyrics were crowd-sourced from Twitter."